It was all laid out; a golden career path to glide on to. But I gave it up for a job with a 3-person charity in an office above a Chinese restaurant in Soho, London earning less than half the salary.

 

 

Because I felt flat. Although the job challenged me mentally and I loved the customer contact, my heart wasn't in it. I wasn't inspired by computer software and knew I never would be.

 

There was more to life than this. I had things that I loved that I wanted to be spending my time doing.

 

And I knew that if I didn't at least try I'd end up regretful. The thought of getting old and looking back- thinking 'why didn't I give it a go?' chilled me.

 

We spend such a large part of our lives at work. In very many ways our jobs define our existence. I believe our work should speak to the whole of us; allow us to express our joy and uniqueness, to use our natural talents, skills and abilities. This belief was hard-won though, as from a very early age I was, like most, taught that work was about being secure, keeping your head down and earning decent money – to be comfortable in life. If you could find it with nice people and in a place that you were somewhat engaged then you were lucky.

 

So, reaching my 20s, though I didn't know what I wanted to do, I wanted to 'get on' in life, so that's want I did! I went from an office, to a bank, to an oil company (unbelievable considering my values these days!), to a software company, to Microsoft. I was ticking all those boxes above – nice colleagues, comfortable work, fast car, money for holidays, entertainment…it goes on.

 

Despite all these distractions, deep down I knew that something was wrong. It was about this time that I started reading – books by people who believed work should be much more than a job; that it could be a chance to participate, to give, to do something you loved, to make a difference. That doing this would change your life. Ironically, it was a self-development course at Microsoft that cemented these beliefs. After it I remember reading 'Authentic' by Neil Crofts and 'What Colour is your Parachute' by Richard Nelson Bolles.

 

I wasn't ready to make the move immediately. I wanted a break to do something completely different, something I loved, to ascertain how I felt when each day was filled with that rather than my 9-5. So, I talked my boss into giving me a sabbatical. I took 3 months – I taught English and Music in Brazil, I travelled to Peru and Australia and then finally I worked with two Ethnomusicologists in Russia.

 

These 3 months were the most amazing of my life. They showed me what it could be like to get up and do something I actually loved every day. They showed me a world of possibilities outside my previous experience. I came alive. I was a different me and I loved it!

 

When I came back I knew that I couldn't stay in my job and immediately began looking for different work. I wanted to work in the world of music, but getting a job wasn't easy. I believed if I could get an interview I'd get a job – and that finally happened; I got a job with the Association of British Orchestras in London.

 

I was there a little over a year and learnt a lot about the music industry, London and myself! I loved the creative environment, but I felt restricted in an office. This job developed me and moved me on to the next stage of my life.

 

There followed a period of illness that forced me to reassess things and I went back to studying for a while. During that time I was lucky enough to be able to visit Italy and my childhood love of all things Italian came flooding back. I started learning the language and dreaming about the though of one day living 'La Dolce Vita'.

 

Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom to realise what we really want and commit to it. After a couple of years of studies another illness hit me – this was the darkest point of my life – I spent almost 6 months in bed and became really depressed. In the depths of this a little voice said, 'If I can just get out of this, I'll get to Italy. That's what I want, that's what life's about. I don't know how, but I'll do it'.

 

That was the moment I committed to taking the next steps on my journey that have brought me out to Italy. I slowly began to recover from the illness, and think about ways in which I could realise my dream. I'd had a severe self-confidence knock, so it took some time to build myself back up, but small steps were the key; I signed up to a certificate to teach English as a Foreign Language and continued with my Italian language. I started to investigate English schools in Italy and find and use any contacts I had.

 

Since arriving in Italy my quest for my unique place in the world has continued a pace! The more I commit to my work being an expression of my uniqueness, of something I was sent here to do, the more satisfying, whole and fulfilling my life becomes.